Living Together During Divorce in Tulsa

I’m running across more and more people living together during divorce in Tulsa. This increasing number of couples continue living together during divorce in Tulsa pending marital dissolution.  Although it’s difficult coping with divorce, many households cannot afford the additional expenses of living apart during the process.  The financial challenge of maintaining two households is even more complex if you’re facing a contentious divorce. Contested child custody issues or other difficult financial issues only further this causing more of the need for living together during divorce in Tulsa and though out Oklahoma.

Lessons to Live by:

Anyone doubting the stress of sharing a home during the divorce process need only watch the movie War of the Roses.  While few divorces are nearly as nasty as the one depicted in this film, one might remember the husband’s character dividing the house into colored zone– red zones were designated to her; green zones designated to him; and yellow zones designated neutral.  The anxiety of trying to live together while filled with resentment and anger was the couple’s ultimate undoing.  At one point, the husband’s attorney begs his client to move out of the family residence.  This is to avoid the situation escalating to the point of violence.

The first lesson from this depiction of a particularly contentious divorce is that sometimes moving out is unavoidable.  If there is a substantial amount of hostility between spouses while living together during an Oklahoma marital dissolution, continuing to live together under the same roof can turn into arguments that escalate into physical altercations and real or contrived charges of domestic abuse.  Domestic abuse may result in criminal charges and impact one’s ability to obtain substantial parenting time with one’s children.  Even where no domestic violence occurs, there is risk that one of the parties may hurl false accusations.  This further complicates the Oklahoma divorce process.

Inability to Move Due to Financial Reasons:

If financial necessity dictates that you both live in the family home during your divorce, it’s highly recommended that you work to keep your relationship cordial.  Avoid engaging in behavior that will create increased animosity.  Again, the War of the Roses provides a template for exactly how not to behave if you must share the family home during a divorce.  Parents that live together in the home should discuss rules.  These include chores and parenting arrangement as too keep disputes to a minimum.

If you’re able to remain cordial, it’ll reduce stress on both you and your children. Sometimes couples living together can discuss the issues in their divorce so that the divorce resolves amicably.  This cooperation can substantially reduce the cost of your divorce and also avoid the need to finance separate households.

Sometimes it’s not possible to live under the same roof.  But you should seek legal advice before moving out of the family residence.  If your spouse remains in the residence and continues to make the mortgage payments this may impact property distribution.  A primary residential parent may also have less chance of securing an order to continue to live in the home with the minor children if the parent moves out of the house prior to or during the divorce.  Finally, parents who vacate the family home may have difficulty obtaining access to their children while allowing the parent who stays behind to develop a status quo of being the primary caregiver with the children in a stable home environment.

Advising Couples About Living Together During Divorce:

Living together during divorce in Tulsa can be done. People do it mainly to save money and that’s fine. As noted above, one of the keys to success is trying to get along while doing it. Our Tulsa divorce lawyers can help you get through the process and try and do it with dignity and minimal fighting. With child custody along with all the other concerns make the process hard enough we’ll try and ease you through the rest.